Eunice’s Cat

This is my neighbour Eunice’s cat. Vicious. A known killer of small birds. I like Eunice but not her cat. It assumes it can stroll into my garden whenever it wants. It takes liberties.

Once I found it upstairs sleeping on my bed! It alters the eco balance of my garden. No birds dare come near so the slugs run rampant. If there was an animal equivalent of the Geneva Convention this cat would be tried as a war criminal for its murderous activities.

The cat knows I don’t like it. In return it does not like me. When I try and shoo it from the garden it stares back cockily. It has unpleasant personal habits. It lolls lazily on my lawn licking its testicles. It is a feckless father of several litters of kittens in the area.

But Eunice dotes on it. Her son is away and the cat replaces him in her affections. Plus it is clever. It is sweetness and light around Eunice. Never puts a paw wrong. A feline Uriah Heep.